It’s another great (and belated) Pool Boy Pick Em league! You all know what that means! That’s right another year of low blows, classless cheap shots, and years of pent up aggression being unleashed on one another. Another year of stories that we thought died long ago, (not if I was there) and new ones waiting to be unearthed at the right moment. Heinrich’s going two and out and making more terrible sports predictions. Bad teams making a mockery out of our picks and last but not least it also unfortunately means another year of the ESPN Cross Fit games. Men and large women throwing objects at one another, doing abnormal climbs and all in all pretending they aren’t the Ironman competition even though they really want to be. Somewhere in Europe Drew Millar has a hard on that could fill room.
Being an election year I have also decided this needs to be a Tax bracket Pick Em. The way Obama likes it, the haves have to pay for the have nots. Sorry Marcus, Heiny and Galmiche, you guys will probably be paying the most in this case. That’s what you get for being smart and hard working, Marcus. Nick, I’ve seen your apartment and John’s it’s what you get for being a kiss ass (this liberal thing is sounding better and better). Trent you also have to pay a lot, were going off your pre Netflix income and Zahler works for a bank so he’s going to get reimbursed for the loans he’s going to shell out anyways. No, but in all seriousness some of you have yet to pay. For God sakes Justin Belding already paid and he lives in the mountains! Erik Weiss is knee deep consummating his marriage and while in the middle of it (listening to the OSU fight song, of course) he sent a text out. Wife didn’t skip a beat. Didn’t miss a thrust and the masseuse…(yup, drink that image in). PayPal me at my email address. It takes 5 minutes. It has to be in this week guys. I’m trimming the league come Friday. It shouldn’t be this difficult. That means you:
Jubitz
Stone
Ben Clark
Bobby (who tried to commandeer the league and isn’t paying)
Chris Hill (not actually expecting this, let’s just cut him now)
Barth
Wilson
Galmiche
A couple of you have confirmed a sent check. Others have said it is on the way over a week ago. I live in the middle of the country not Azerberjan. It should be here by now if that is the case. Get it in asap. I’ll probably be contacting each of you soon.
On to week 1!
24 People are still partying
2 People have a Strike
22 are Flawless
No one’s F’in Out…yet
Pretty boring week overall so let’s get on with it.
Pick of the Week!
It’s back. We’re back. The Jets are back. Congratulations to Neil who almost forgot to pick so out of sheer luck tossed out the first team name to come to mind. The J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS. Neil really digs the Sanchize so in a pinch he knew who to call on. He did and because he was the only one to choose the Jets he gets the pick. Neil, you get a 30 day Jubitz truck stop ad on this site for your troubles. $9.95 processing fee.
Honorable Mention: Clarke for being the solo Bears pick
Worst pick of the Week
Always the best part of the blog! Hollllllywooooood Heinrich’s. Soon we gotta start putting cash down on who’s going to make the worst pick decisions. For me my money will always go on this guy. It’s like betting on whether Justin Belding will find any means necessary to find a Jimmy when he’s drunk or Purcell becoming a Scientologist (next logical step). This week wasn’t even that bad of a pick. However, you got a Saints team being coached by a guy who basically is paid to watch JV practices to try and pick out the next phenom. This guy knows about as much about coaching and form as Chris Hill does. Chris Hill is coaching the Saint’s everybody. Actually what really solidified this pick was another from Nick’s Twitter account:
 |
| More of these gems in the future... |
Says the guy who picked against him. First week no less. And who was disappointed he just lost once already. Stayed tuned for when Heiny gets knocked out. We’ll get a top 10 worst sports comments of all time thread going. In all seriousness I hope Heiny lasts a little while. This league hasn’t exactly lived up to his expectations and a 2 and out wouldn’t help that. Here is to better luck next week Nick!
Honorable mention: Stone. Seagals. Come on Bro.
The Picks
Name
|
Pick
|
Standing
|
Position
|
Paul Andrews
|
Ravens
|
Win
| |
Marcus Arnold
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Paul Barth
|
Broncos
|
Win
| |
Justin Belding
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Joe Church
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Ben Clark
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Kevin Clark
|
Bears
|
Win
| |
Sam Finley
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Dan Fitzpatrick
|
Lions
|
Win
| |
John Galmiche
|
Ravens
|
Win
| |
Nick "Hollywood" Heinrichs
|
Saints
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Neil Jubitz
|
Jets
|
Win
| |
Pat Kelly
|
Lions
|
Win
| |
Nick Lamb
|
Saints
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Ryan McAndrew
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Drew Millar
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Bobby Philbrook
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Kyle Shultz
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Dan Stone
|
Seagals
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Trent Striplin
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Erik Weiss
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Paul Wilson
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Michael Zahler
|
Lions
|
Win
| |
Chris Hill
|
Ravens
|
Win
|
That’s it for week 1. Stay tuned for week 2. Thanks for all those who have paid. Those who haven’t please get it in.
McPool Master
Week 2
Finally some action! There I was at an airport stationed BWW watching every sports hack you can imagine. We had Giants fans, we had Fagles fans, we had Vikings fans, Patriots fans, we had them all and they all lived up to every stereo type you could think of. Philly fans were dropping hi pitched F yeah’s on 2 yard gains. Cussing at every person not wearing an Eagles Jersey and just getting blasted at 11 in the morning. A site to see and the stereotype did not disappoint. These guys were ready to fight. Got a few Giants fans screaming at a man who threw for 500 yards yesterday and has won them 2 Super Bowls. Literal comment from a fairly oversized giants gal “I fucking hate Eli, if he doesn’t pull his fucking shit togetha I’m gonna fuckin knee cap that muthafuckaaaaa!” Vikings fans continued to be depressed and sounding even more Norwegian and the Chiefs continued to pretend to act surprised at how much they sucked. The best of all were the Pats fans that pretended they cared because they are from Boston, but had no idea what was going on. When they thought they scored the game winning touchdown only to be called for holding they all celebrated for 5 straight minutes while every person in the bar yelled at them to let them know it was a holding penalty. After ordering a round of drinks they looked up just in time to see the score back to 18-20 and for their team to miss the winning field goal. Best. Ending. Ever. I let out a small cackle at the thought of Bill Simmons kicking his dog after it went wide left.
What a great week! Let’s get on with it. 10 people went down with the opportunity to have even more. Unfortunately, the Giants didn’t reciprocate like the Patriots did which had Zahler sweating it out again…lucks gotta run out at some point.
Quick Recap
23 people are still partying
12 people are flawless
11 People have Strike
1 Person is F’in Out!
Pick of the Week!
Justin Belding with the Bills! Great week to be ballsy with the Pats going down and the Giants being one scrum filled kneel down away from blowing their win. However, after watching the Chiefs all preseason and in their first two games I really don’t know who they will beat at this point. Betting against Matt Cassell is more assured then Bobby becoming the next Joe Amendola. While getting mauled by that bear (or Mike Weiss) in Wyoming take the time to sneak a smile in between the pain (or pleasure).
Worst Pick of the Week!
It’s just an amazing time when someone goes out in two weeks. Truly impeccable. This week’s Worst Pick of the Week and the New Donkey Punch recipient is……Hollllyyywooooood Heeeeeinnnnyyy! That’s right folks, even with Nick’s vast football knowledge and completely justifiable and level headed sports logic couldn’t keep him around this year. After all the years Nick spent watching game tape of 49ers football against the Cardinals….No actually this award really should go to Joe Church. Nick just happened to have some really crappy luck this year. Joe, you’re the real donk this week, however, Nick will be the number one donk in our hearts all year. Heiny, don’t quit on us next year after 2 shortcomings. You don’t want to hold onto that trophy forever…and I want to remind you of this for the foreseeable future.
Also, the top 10 will have to come next week. I really thought Nick would give me a couple weeks to prepare myself. I’d also like it be known I wrote week 1 during week 1 so all comments about Heiny were made without knowing in fact he would go out in 2 weeks…but in fact did know Heiny would go out in two weeks.
The Picks
Name
|
Pick
|
Standing
|
Position
|
Paul Andrews
|
Chargers
|
Win
| |
Marcus Arnold
|
Bungles
|
Win
| |
Paul Barth
|
Giants
|
Win
| |
Justin Belding
|
Bills
|
Win
| |
Joe Church
|
Redskins
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Ben Clark
|
Pats
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Kevin Clark
|
Pats
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Sam Finley
|
Giants
|
Win
| |
Dan Fitzpatrick
|
Bungles
|
Win
| |
John Galmiche
|
Vikings
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Nick "Hollywood" Heinrichs
|
Pats
|
Loss
|
F'in Out!
|
Neil Jubitz
|
Pats
|
Loss
| |
Pat Kelly
|
Texans
|
Win
| |
Nick Lamb
|
Chargers
|
Win
|
1 Strike
|
Ryan McAndrew
|
Bungles
|
Win
| |
Drew Millar
|
Falcons
|
Win
| |
Bobby Philbrook
|
Chargers
|
Win
| |
Kyle Shultz
|
Pats
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Dan Stone
|
Bungles
|
Win
|
1 Strike
|
Trent Striplin
|
Bungles
|
Win
| |
Erik Weiss
|
Pats
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Paul Wilson
|
Raiders
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
Michael Zahler
|
Giants
|
Win
| |
Chris Hill
|
Pats
|
Loss
|
1 Strike
|
That’s it this week guys. Go over and check out the Pool Boys sections. There are some exciting updates. Shultz and Barth. I need some degrading photos fella’s. Don’t make me do what I did to Wilson. Until next week!
McPool Master
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