Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Season 2 Week 2

Greetings Pool Boys!

Sorry for the delay I’ve been up in Alaska filming “One Night in an Igloo”  Starring Sarah Palin and Glen Rice or the original version featuring an Arnold family member.  The consensus?  The Palin version was better, but the plastic playground version was much more comfortable than the frigid arctic.  No but seriously, hardly anyone sent their picks in on time so I wasn’t about to send out who chose who on time either.

What am I really doing though?  I’m currently in a hotel room in Philly watching the Crossfit Games.  What is the Crossfit games?  The stupidest thing I have ever seen, that’s what.  To provide some perspective on what crossfit has looked like to me so far…

Imagine you are at the gym and have to do everything really fast without taking breaks…or thinking for that matter.  “Quickly bench press! Uh, uh, ok only 6 reps.  Now, nowwww uh ok fast! Abductions go! Go! Go!  Now quick deadlifts!! deadlifts!!! Run damnit, run to it!  8 reps.  Now quickly do sit ups!  Now! Now! Now!  How many reps??? uh oh I don’t know? 10.  Ok now… quick, ummmm crap what’s next?  Oh!  I know! CALF RAISESES !!!!! AAARRGGHHH! 13 of them!  Now find the closest jungle gym and do weird things on it!  HURRY!  Now run 50 yards and finish with some forearm curls. 3 of them!  Now bear crawl 19 yards.  19 yards I said!  Not 20! 19!!!!!  That was set one.  Now do it all over again in reverse order starting in the middle!  GOOOOO!!!”

Confused?  Ya, me too.  Who makes up this kind of crap?  Probably Kyle Shommer.  Why don’t these people just go wrestle a badger, I’m sure that’ll do it too.  Ridiculous…Bring back that outdoor games, at least I was entertained and could trick myself into believe these were real events.  I cared and was more impressed by a dog jumping 20 feet than a man making stranger choices at the gym then Sarah Palin chooses in her sex life (you were all waiting for a Purcell joke weren’t you?  Oh come on….don’t you lie to me...).

Pretty lame this week for the most part, though.  Only 1 loss this week while the rest of us won in blowout fashion with the Lions and Steelers.  Ugh…that sentence felt dirty.  The puss out pick of the week was the Stillers this week picked 10 times followed by (gulp) the Lions picked 6 times. Also, for the first time ever 2 people forgot to pick this week.  Unfortunately, for the rest of us they won thanks to ESPN’s experts.  At least the Falcons were used up for them this week and they probably won’t remember this down the road.  Especially when they send it in to me (hopefully days in advance) and I don’t say anything…

Quick Recap!

25 people are still playing
11 people have a strike against them
15 people are flawless  
1 person lost this week
1 person is F’in OUT!

Pick of the Week

This week’s pick of the week has never been crowned with this prestigious award and hopefully it will be the first of many.  It will need to be if he wants to keep playing.  Congratulations….JOHN GALMICHE for picking the Redskins this week!  Ballsy my friend.  Picking Sexy Rexy takes balls or a lack of education and you sir have one or the other.  I’ll ask Erin Gambee or Lauren to find out the real answer.  But congratulations John, lets try and get a pick of the week streak going.  Also, had someone not lost you would have definitely gotten it for making this pick…


Worst Pick of the Week!

Matt NICHOLS!  You sir chose a bad time to go out my friend.  Not only have you tied for the longest losing streak in Pool Boy History (3 straight losses) you are the fastest person to ever go out!  Swiftly and without hesitation ripping the donk trophy out of Justin Belding’s cold dead han..oooh, he’s still alive?  Can we confirm that?  Ok, good, good to hear..ripping it out of his warm able body.  You sir made a terrible homer pick in a tough game by picking the Fagles this weekend against a tough opponent.  We salute you and thank you for your $20 wedding gift…err I mean contribution to the league!  Yes, all of this money is going to the league, not your wedding plates…I will promptly remove the Donk Pick from Belding’s profile and put it on yours which will be a nice addition since you do not currently have a picture up because you have been too scared to show your face with those beautiful frosted tips.  This picture will have to suffice.  We will look forward to seeing you in the Re-Up in week 8 to try and possibly redeem yourself.  Which won’t be possible…

Honorable Mention:
Dan Fitzpatrick…for trying to get pomp and circumstance for picking the Cowgirls.  Give me a break buddy, no one is getting any props for picking for or against the Niners.  Actually, let’s make a new rule.  No one gets any pick of the week for ever choosing someone for the NFC West?  All in agreement?  Oh wait…none of you respond to email inquiries and then want to bitch after the season starts?  Ok then…its agreed upon!


Name
Pick
Standing
Position
Paul Andrews
Lions
Win

Marcus Arnold
Lions
Win

Phil Barry
Jets
Win

Paul Barth
Packers
Win
1 Strike
Justin Belding
Steelers
Win
1 Strike
Joe Church
Lions
Win

Ben Clark
Steelers
Win

Kevin Clark
Falcons*
Win

Sam Finley
Lions
Win

Dan Fitzpatrick
Cowboys
Win

John Galmiche
Redskins
Win
1 Strike
Nick "Hollywood" Heinrichs

Win
1 Strike
Neil Jubitz
Steelers
Win

Pat Kelly
Jets
Win

Nick Lamb
Steelers
Win

Ryan McAndrew
Steelers
Win

Drew Millar
Steelers
Win
1 Strike
Matt Nichols
Eagles
Loss
F'in Out!
Bobby Philbrook
Steelers
Win
1 Strike
Ryan Purcell
Falcons*
Win

Kyle Shultz
Steelers
Win
1 Strike
Dan Stone
Giants
Win
1 Strike
Trent Striplin
Lions
Win

Erik Weiss
Steelers
Win
1 Strike
Paul Wilson
Steelers
Win
1 Strike
Michael Zahler
Lions
Win




I’d do the F’in out column again this year, but I think we have already discussed that…ok fine.

And now it’s time….to say goodbye…

To Matt Nichols.  That is all.

Some quick comments before next week.

Pick’s are due by Saturday Night.  The majority asked for this so that everyone can see the picks and find ways to waste their afternoon by watching games like the Browns vs. The Colts.  Ok?!  Some of us need this so please get your picks in by Saturday night at 10pm Pacific Standard Time.  I can’t post them in time if I don’t get them in time.

Also, for those dissenter’s out there.  Playoffs are here to stay this year.  I know some of you don’t like this, but the majority still wants this and if you did have a problem with the rules I gave the opportunity to you all to let me know before the season started.  We will revisit the rules next year.  Hollywood and Millar, in all honesty thank you for giving your input as you were some of the only ones to speak up on time.  With that said, you can also stop until next year.  You can’t cast your vote like Florida and get a recount.  I’m not going to get confused all of a sudden and think you started checking different boxes or that your input counts 5 times.

Also, I cash the checks this weekend so if you don’t have it in your account you better find a job (Trent).

Thanks,

McPoolMaster 

4 comments:

  1. Sorry about the Excel format. I don't know what the hell is going on...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pittsburgh Molesters over the Indianapolis Invalids

    ReplyDelete
  3. Week 8 ReUp: Baltimore Limp Flaccos over Kevin Kolb's Back Foot Throws

    ReplyDelete