Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Week 13 and 14

Coming at you live from this beautiful basement Bobby calls home in San Francisco!  It’s the week 13 and 14 update!  Yes that is right; it is another combined update this time around, because for the 3rd week in a row no one lost.  Much like Purcell’s life choices though, Week 14 would not disappoint.  So after much bitching….(Drew, Trent, Purcell) here are your updates.
In week 13, yet again no one in the main pot lost.  A very disappointing turn of events when the Seahawks and Eagles looked soooo close to futility.  However, both pulled it out in the end which leaves us with no losses, and not an impressive pick in the bunch.  However, this didn’t stop us from having another…
Worst Pick of the Week!
This week Drew Millar graces us with his presence here yet again.  What for you ask?  Well certainly not for making picks, the man’s been out for weeks.  He gets it for his Facebook post last week to Ben Clark.  While perusing the web during a small break in work meetings last week, I laughed out loud openly reading Drew’s wallpost.  Drew I haven’t seen anything this meatheaded since Arnold Schwarzenagger said getting a good pump on to him is like ejaculating.  I invite you all to go check out this thread online.
  The most meatheaded back in forth you’ll ever see.  I’m sure by reading this Purcell will do about 100 curls and calf raises each tomorrow (because he sure as hell doesn’t do anything else).  Drew I would like to throw out a suggestion to make sure you guys are covering all your bases.  Since supplements are clearly going to be involved.  Why stop at just 3?  Let’s make it six and add your guys drug and alcohol addictions and let’s add Extenze in there too and see which one of you can become the first penis with a man hanging from it…From now on let’s keep these things as secret  as Nick Lamb and Kim Cassinelli’s relationship.
And here is your main Pool Party Standings…

Name
Week 13
Result
Standing
Paul Andrews
F'in Out!
Already Out
Marcus Arnold
F'in Out!
Already Out
Justin Belding
F'in Out!
Already Out
Joe Church
F'in Out!
Already Out
Kevin Clarke
F'in Out!
Sam Finley
F'in Out!
Already Out
Dan Fitzpatrick
F'in Out!
Already Out
Sam Heinlein
Seahawks
1 Strike
Neil Jubitz
F'in Out!
Already Out
Pat Kelly
Eagles
Nick Lamb
Seahawks
1 Strike
Ryan McAndrew
Bears
1 Strike
Drew Millar
F'in Out!
Already Out
Matt Nichols
F'in Out!
Already Out
Bobby Philbrook
Vikings
Ryan Purcell
F'in Out!
Already Out
Kyle Shultz
F'in Out!
Already Out
Dan Stone
F'in Out!
Already Out
Trent Striplin
Vikings
Erik Weiss
Eagles
1 Strike
Michael Zahler
F'in Out!
Already Out


On to the Re-Up
Finally some real action!  One loss, but as Tom Grace use to say, “but one is all you need.”
Here’s the Rundown
8 people remain in the hunt
2 people are F’in Out
4 people are flawless
4 people have a strike against them

Pick of the Week

No one!  I’m not giving out picks of the week for the F’ing Seahawks!

Worst Pick of the Week

To the only man who kept things interesting.  Dan Fitzpatrick.  This week Dan and his Re-Up dreams went down in flames along with his favorite team’s playoff dreams.  This week his San Diego Chargers gone down and done him Dirty much like a Ryan Purcell/ Amanda Striplin lustfair.  Guns and Breast people, Guns and Breastes’….ok, mostly just breasts if Purcell is being honest with himself, but Dan could just not resist picking his favorite team against the RRRaiders much like Purcell can’t resist himself a set of cans.  So after Dan’s team laid down like Purcell does with BBW’s (ok I’m done) he is the second man out of the Re-Up.  Thanks for partying Dan, your season is officially up.

Here are the Standings!

Name
Week 13
Result
Paul Andrews
Bears
1 Strike
Marcus Arnold
Pack
1 Strike
Kevin Clarke
Pack
Dan Fitzpatrick
Chargers
Loss
F'in Out!
Pat Kelly
Eagles
Nick Lamb
Chiefs
1 Strike
Ryan McAndrew
Bears
Ryan Purcell
F'in Out
Trent Striplin
Vikings
Michael Zahler
Seahawks
1 Strike




WEEK 14

Ah…so refreshing.  People’s hopes and dreams being crushed in multitudes.  We haven’t had a week like this since week 7.  So lets get to it!

The Rundown
7 people came in alive
4 people left
3 people were knocked out
1 person gained a strike
2 people are still flawless
17 people are F’in Out

Pick of the Week

This week’s winner is Erik Weiss!  Erik went against the grain and picked the Bills with a strike already on his record this week.  After they squeaked one out against the Browns he still remains in the hunt.  Now judging by Erik’s pick and what week it is, I’m more sure Erik made this choice by not really having a choice.  So congratulations Erik, this was probably more a pick out of necessity than out of thinking but well go a week without writing your name with a C for your troubles.

Worst Pick of the Week

So many options to choose from…4 people with bad picks…The winner is….Sam Heinlein!!!  Sam picked the Broncos this week and went down in flames to yes, the Cardinals.  But if you look at the standings 2 people picked the Broncos and only one is getting the award…Hmm…curious things indeed.  Why would I do such a thing?  Well, after checking over everyone’s picks to make sure we had no irregularities, (ok I only got through 2 people) something odd came up.  Sam Heinlein has been knocked out of the league……..3 weeks ago.  Yes, Sam snuck it under our noses with his atrocious pick of the Niners in week 10.  They scored 0 points in a blowout loss and Sam just kept on picking.  So Sam, congratulations, you are the donk pick of the week.  At least you can say from here on out you were the only man who will every play in the PoolBoy league and have 3 losses.  Congratulations Sam.

Time to Say Goodbye

Two honorable men and 1 very dishonorable man is being discharged this week.  We say goodbye to Sam Heinlein, Nick Lamb, and yes, yours truly.  It was a fun run while it lasted.  Nick was done in by the Bronco’s as was Sam (sort of).  I was done in much like Dan Fitzpatrick was last week, by Amanda Striplin…I mean my Packers!  Sorry.  So the McPoolmaster is out.  However, we should really say goodbye to everyone, because now I have absolutely no vested interest in this league.  If you thought the post were coming slow before.  Welp, week 14 may have been your last hurrah.  Goodbye cruel NFL world.  The 3 of us will surely miss having a rooting interest in a really bad game.

The Standings…


Name
Week 14
Result
Standing
Paul Andrews
F'in Out!
Already Out
Marcus Arnold
F'in Out!
Already Out
Justin Belding
F'in Out!
Already Out
Joe Church
F'in Out!
Already Out
Kevin Clarke
F'in Out!
Sam Finley
F'in Out!
Already Out
Dan Fitzpatrick
F'in Out!
Already Out
Sam Heinlein
Broncos
F'in Out!
Out Twice
Neil Jubitz
F'in Out!
Already Out
Pat Kelly
Jets
1 Strike
Nick Lamb
Broncos
F'in Out!
Ryan McAndrew
Packers
F'in Out!
Drew Millar
F'in Out!
Already Out
Matt Nichols
F'in Out!
Already Out
Bobby Philbrook
Jaguars
Ryan Purcell
F'in Out!
Already Out
Kyle Shultz
F'in Out!
Already Out
Dan Stone
F'in Out!
Already Out
Trent Striplin
Cardinals
Erik Weiss
Bills
1 Strike
Michael Zahler
F'in Out!
Already Out


The Re-Up

Only 3 went down this week but 1 we will have lost until next year.

Here’s the Rundown

8 People entered
7 kept partying
2 gained their first strike
2 are still flawless
6 have a strike against them
3 people are F’in Out!

Pick of the Week

This week’s pick goes to Trent Striplin.  Trent went against the grain this week and picked the Derek Andersonless Cardinals.  You know, when you put it that way it actually sounds like a good idea.  So nice pick Trent.  You have officially placed yourself as a front runner in both parties in the hopes that I will actually pay you.

Worst Pick of the Week

Paul Andrews and I for picking the one trick pony in the Green Bay Packers.  We got a glimpse of futility this week in what the Packers are without Aaron Rodgers.  Their terrible.  If you put up 3 points against the Friggin’ Lions you should be put down.  Unfortunately only Paul and I were put down.

Goodbye

Paul, you were put down this week.  We look forward to seeing your investments next year.

Here are the Re-Up Standings


Name
Week 14
Result
Paul Andrews
Packers
Loss
F'in Out!
Marcus Arnold
Saints
1 Strike
Kevin Clarke
Falcons
Dan Fitzpatrick
F'in Out!
Pat Kelly
Jets
Loss
1 Strike
Nick Lamb
Steelers
1 Strike
Ryan McAndrew
Packers
Loss
1 Strike
Ryan Purcell
F'in Out
Trent Striplin
Cardinals
Michael Zahler
Falcons
1 Strike



There you have if Poolsters.  Week 13 and 14 are wrapped up.  In next week’s post (if we have one, again) you can find a couple new goodies for those who are still in the running.  Pictures to come.  Don’t forget to get your picks in this week.

Worsts,

The McPoolmaster

PS  For all those who have done so before.  We will be having our Annual Holiday Bowl this Sunday 12/19 at high noon.  This year we are being sponsored by Extenze.  The Extenze Holiday Bowl.

 
 

8 comments:

  1. I will not be able to get my Extenze on this Sunday as I have a secret date with Kim Cassinelli.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amanda Striplin got more references than me in this weeks update. Nobody can make it to the December 19th Holiday Bowl, set it for the 23rd, 24th, or 26th.

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  3. Who died and made Mcandrew the Holiday Bowl commissioner? Please nobody answer that. I'm out of town this weekend. Let's do it the 24th.

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  4. Sometimes this league makes me wish I'd done more controversial things with my life, so that I could be drawn into rapidly-escalating joke one-upsmanship that would eventually turn into a rage buried so deeply that it could only be released in a blind-side, ligament-snapping, horse collar tackle during the Extenze Stop North Korea Fight Hunger Holiday bowl.

    But only sometimes. Thank God nobody except McAndrew knew Old Dan, and his lips ARE SEALED.

    Eunice Lee.

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  5. Eunice Lee eh? I'll see your Eunice Lee and raise you a Sarah Nelson and two Langdon Kingsleys. I'm down for the 23rd. Its the best day for everyone, we just need a place to play. First person to come up with a place with lights for us to play wins a sack of Four Locos from the pallet Drew ordered hours before The Ban. Somebody call the soccerplex by Jesuit. i'm down for Arena Football if we have to...

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  6. I dont feel bad about doing this at all. I hate Alex Smith and mike singletary. give me the chargers this week.

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  7. side pot (ugh). Give me my Cowboys. Also, Ryan sent a text that read: "Picking the Chargers this week was the easiest pick I've had alllll ll year." The text was sent once the Chargers went up 17-0 in the second quarter (6:50 pm PST). It does not appear to be made clear to me that he posted this pick either here or by email prior to this text. I call foul. Also, what is this high school female roll call? Let's throw in McCandy's ol' chub rubber Anna Martin.

    ReplyDelete