2011 Week 3

What a stressful week!  Not one person here didn’t have to sweat a game out until the end.  Even the sure things. Chargers and Steelers had to crap themselves a couple times before finally stopping their opponents final drives.  Sabas really collapsed this weekend thanks to the Pool Boy Pick Em’ not from a pick up basketball game.  On a side note, you know you are addicted to gambling when you own the NFL Sunday Ticket and over all the games I could be watching I’m glued to the Jaguars vs Panthers limp biscuit bowl because there were about 4 guys I feel deserved to go down for picking Scam Newton.  Anyways, I wasn’t vindicated and I ended up having a pretty bad morning; I felt cheated.  In other news we are in the bizarro world of the NFL as there are only 3 teams left undefeated.  The Packers (world champs baby!), the Lions and the Bills.  Awesome.

Also, sorry again this is coming late, I decided to take a nap last night instead.

Quick Recap!

24 people are still partying

11 people have a strike against them

13 people are flawless

1 person forgot to pick this week (it’s becoming a trend)

3 people got a strike this week

2 people are F’in Out!

These numbers will not do people.  I will not be satisfied until we are in single digit flawlessness.  Stop squeaking by Trent!   With your picks and life, you’re playing with fire, a “Man on Fire”.  Why did I make that comment you ask?  Because Trent works for Netflix now, so whenever referenced in this league a movie title joke must be made somewhere along with his name.

Pick of the Week

No body.  Everyone went on a vagtastic voyage by pussin out on their picks (yes me, very much included) this week and I’ll be damned if Scam Newton is going to get any accolades from this league!

Worst Pick of the Week

Goes too…Ben Clark!  His first nomination!  Ben isn’t the only person who lost this week with the Patriots, but I haven’t seen a hate-stricken email or rant in a long time and I’m hoping this small prod will do the trick.  If I don’t fear for my life like Claire Hanway after this post I’m going to be upset.  I want restraining orders and Kim Cassinelli needing to come over to console me by the time I hear from you next.  One more strike to go bud, lets finish strong!

Honorable Mention

Kevin Clarke, for failing to pick this week and subsequently losing because his default team had already been chosen.  Which brings up a mistake made last week.  Kevin posted his pick to my facebook account which I did not see until after the game so Kevin did not choose the Falcons last week, he picked the Steelers.  Which is too bad; because he would be utterly shaming my forgiveness rule had I not found that.

Here are this week’s picks…which reminds me; if most of you would get your picks in sooner you could also waste your Sunday mornings watching the Panthers play the Jaguar’s or any terrible Monday Night game that will be on for the rest of the season.  I’m serious…if you haven’t looked at the Monday night schedule yet you need too.  It’s absolutely terrible.

Name	Pick	Standing	Position
Paul Andrews	Steelers	Win
Marcus Arnold	Panthers	Win
Phil Barry	Titans	Win
Paul Barth	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Justin Belding	Titans	Win	1 Strike
Joe Church	Chargers	Win
Ben Clark	Patriots	Loss	1 Strike
Kevin Clark	Steelers (again)	Loss	1 Strike
Sam Finley	Steelers	Win
Dan Fitzpatrick	Steelers	Win
John Galmiche	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Nick "Hollywood" Heinrichs	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Neil Jubitz	Chargers	Win
Pat Kelly	Chargers	Win
Nick Lamb	Panthers	Win
Ryan McAndrew	Chargers	Win
Drew Millar	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Matt Nichols			F'in Out!
Bobby Philbrook	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Ryan Purcell	Chargers	Win
Kyle Shultz	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Dan Stone	Chargers	Win	1 Strike
Trent Striplin	Panthers	Win
Erik Weiss	Patriots	Loss	F'in Out
Paul Wilson	Titans	Win	1 Strike
Michael Zahler	Chargers	Win

F’In Out Time!

Erik Weiss!  You sir, are F’in outta here!!! This would be equivalent to the many times you were not able to get it up with countless women in college and high school, donks no less.  Swamp donks, which is what you are! Sorry you weren’t able to rekindle the magic from last year after you lost in week 1 and subsequently still got no money…however, your excitement or limpness rather, ends after only 3 weeks.  Poor showing, very poor showing.  We will see you in the re-up and then next year!

IMPORTANT NOTICE

I will be gone the next two weeks.  Your picks still need to be in by Saturday night but they need to go to Dan Fitzpatrick.  Danfitzpatrick03@gmail.com.  If you send them to me they will still count, but you will be totally out of the loop for at least two weeks because I’m going to be sippin Mai Thai’s on a beach all week and could really give a rats ass that you tried to get the pick of the week by picking Browns…which isn’t even funny because every crappy team this year has a above .500 record. Except Seattle, and the Rams, and the Niners within the next 3 weeks. 

So seriously, send them to Fitzpatrick or don’t expect to get much out of this league for two weeks and you will be a total wet blanket.  Substitute writers the next 2 weeks as well so enjoy your break from my smugness.  Dan Fitzpatrick week 4.  Bobby Philbrook week 5.  See you all, or most of you Saturday night!

Thanks,

McPoolmaster

Season 2 Week 2

Greetings Pool Boys!

Sorry for the delay I’ve been up in Alaska filming “One Night in an Igloo”  Starring Sarah Palin and Glen Rice or the original version featuring an Arnold family member.  The consensus?  The Palin version was better, but the plastic playground version was much more comfortable than the frigid arctic.  No but seriously, hardly anyone sent their picks in on time so I wasn’t about to send out who chose who on time either.

What am I really doing though?  I’m currently in a hotel room in Philly watching the Crossfit Games.  What is the Crossfit games?  The stupidest thing I have ever seen, that’s what.  To provide some perspective on what crossfit has looked like to me so far…

Imagine you are at the gym and have to do everything really fast without taking breaks…or thinking for that matter.  “Quickly bench press! Uh, uh, ok only 6 reps.  Now, nowwww uh ok fast! Abductions go! Go! Go!  Now quick deadlifts!! deadlifts!!! Run damnit, run to it!  8 reps.  Now quickly do sit ups!  Now! Now! Now!  How many reps??? uh oh I don’t know? 10.  Ok now… quick, ummmm crap what’s next?  Oh!  I know! CALF RAISESES !!!!! AAARRGGHHH! 13 of them!  Now find the closest jungle gym and do weird things on it!  HURRY!  Now run 50 yards and finish with some forearm curls. 3 of them!  Now bear crawl 19 yards.  19 yards I said!  Not 20! 19!!!!!  That was set one.  Now do it all over again in reverse order starting in the middle!  GOOOOO!!!”

Confused?  Ya, me too.  Who makes up this kind of crap?  Probably Kyle Shommer.  Why don’t these people just go wrestle a badger, I’m sure that’ll do it too.  Ridiculous…Bring back that outdoor games, at least I was entertained and could trick myself into believe these were real events.  I cared and was more impressed by a dog jumping 20 feet than a man making stranger choices at the gym then Sarah Palin chooses in her sex life (you were all waiting for a Purcell joke weren’t you?  Oh come on….don’t you lie to me...).

Pretty lame this week for the most part, though.  Only 1 loss this week while the rest of us won in blowout fashion with the Lions and Steelers.  Ugh…that sentence felt dirty.  The puss out pick of the week was the Stillers this week picked 10 times followed by (gulp) the Lions picked 6 times. Also, for the first time ever 2 people forgot to pick this week.  Unfortunately, for the rest of us they won thanks to ESPN’s experts.  At least the Falcons were used up for them this week and they probably won’t remember this down the road.  Especially when they send it in to me (hopefully days in advance) and I don’t say anything…

Quick Recap!

25 people are still playing

11 people have a strike against them

15 people are flawless  

1 person lost this week

1 person is F’in OUT!

Pick of the Week

This week’s pick of the week has never been crowned with this prestigious award and hopefully it will be the first of many.  It will need to be if he wants to keep playing.  Congratulations….JOHN GALMICHE for picking the Redskins this week!  Ballsy my friend.  Picking Sexy Rexy takes balls or a lack of education and you sir have one or the other.  I’ll ask Erin Gambee or Lauren to find out the real answer.  But congratulations John, lets try and get a pick of the week streak going.  Also, had someone not lost you would have definitely gotten it for making this pick…

Worst Pick of the Week!

Matt NICHOLS!  You sir chose a bad time to go out my friend.  Not only have you tied for the longest losing streak in Pool Boy History (3 straight losses) you are the fastest person to ever go out!  Swiftly and without hesitation ripping the donk trophy out of Justin Belding’s cold dead han..oooh, he’s still alive?  Can we confirm that?  Ok, good, good to hear..ripping it out of his warm able body.  You sir made a terrible homer pick in a tough game by picking the Fagles this weekend against a tough opponent.  We salute you and thank you for your $20 wedding gift…err I mean contribution to the league!  Yes, all of this money is going to the league, not your wedding plates…I will promptly remove the Donk Pick from Belding’s profile and put it on yours which will be a nice addition since you do not currently have a picture up because you have been too scared to show your face with those beautiful frosted tips.  This picture will have to suffice.  We will look forward to seeing you in the Re-Up in week 8 to try and possibly redeem yourself.  Which won’t be possible…

Honorable Mention:

Dan Fitzpatrick…for trying to get pomp and circumstance for picking the Cowgirls.  Give me a break buddy, no one is getting any props for picking for or against the Niners.  Actually, let’s make a new rule.  No one gets any pick of the week for ever choosing someone for the NFC West?  All in agreement?  Oh wait…none of you respond to email inquiries and then want to bitch after the season starts?  Ok then…its agreed upon!

Name	Pick	Standing	Position
Paul Andrews	Lions	Win
Marcus Arnold	Lions	Win
Phil Barry	Jets	Win
Paul Barth	Packers	Win	1 Strike
Justin Belding	Steelers	Win	1 Strike
Joe Church	Lions	Win
Ben Clark	Steelers	Win
Kevin Clark	Falcons*	Win
Sam Finley	Lions	Win
Dan Fitzpatrick	Cowboys	Win
John Galmiche	Redskins	Win	1 Strike
Nick "Hollywood" Heinrichs		Win	1 Strike
Neil Jubitz	Steelers	Win
Pat Kelly	Jets	Win
Nick Lamb	Steelers	Win
Ryan McAndrew	Steelers	Win
Drew Millar	Steelers	Win	1 Strike
Matt Nichols	Eagles	Loss	F'in Out!
Bobby Philbrook	Steelers	Win	1 Strike
Ryan Purcell	Falcons*	Win
Kyle Shultz	Steelers	Win	1 Strike
Dan Stone	Giants	Win	1 Strike
Trent Striplin	Lions	Win
Erik Weiss	Steelers	Win	1 Strike
Paul Wilson	Steelers	Win	1 Strike
Michael Zahler	Lions	Win

I’d do the F’in out column again this year, but I think we have already discussed that…ok fine.

And now it’s time….to say goodbye…

To Matt Nichols.  That is all.

Some quick comments before next week.

Pick’s are due by Saturday Night.  The majority asked for this so that everyone can see the picks and find ways to waste their afternoon by watching games like the Browns vs. The Colts.  Ok?!  Some of us need this so please get your picks in by Saturday night at 10pm Pacific Standard Time.  I can’t post them in time if I don’t get them in time.

Also, for those dissenter’s out there.  Playoffs are here to stay this year.  I know some of you don’t like this, but the majority still wants this and if you did have a problem with the rules I gave the opportunity to you all to let me know before the season started.  We will revisit the rules next year.  Hollywood and Millar, in all honesty thank you for giving your input as you were some of the only ones to speak up on time.  With that said, you can also stop until next year.  You can’t cast your vote like Florida and get a recount.  I’m not going to get confused all of a sudden and think you started checking different boxes or that your input counts 5 times.

Also, I cash the checks this weekend so if you don’t have it in your account you better find a job (Trent).

Thanks,

McPoolMaster