2011 Week 1



We are back baby!  Week 1 is underway and this season has officially started.  It has also officially ended; as more people lost in week 1 of this season than any week last year!  On top of that most of us sweated it out like Trent at a job interview (which means not very well).  The Cardinals had to return a punt to knock out Cam Newton and the Panthers who was given so many handouts he must be on the same welfare plan that Trent is.  The Chargers, Jets, and Niners held the rest of the league up while, the Chargers made you believe for most of the game that this was the OSU Beavers professional team as a slow start seemed imminent yet again.  Everyone at OSU and the 9 people that went to the Chargers game are all nodding vigorously.  The rest of San Diego wishes they could actually watch the game, but then read the post game report and realized again why they all don’t go.  LA can’t come soon enough baby!

The rest of the league won in blowout fashion with the Texans, Eagles and Patriots blowing out their opponents.  Which brings me to the point that if you ever play the Dolphins and are in a fantasy league…start everybody!  That team would make Pat Kelly look fast.

The most picked team this week was the Cleveland Browns…which I can bet I’ll say as many more times as Obama will ever say that he makes “Financially sound choices…”  The Cardinals were the second most picked team at 5 times and 5 others were chosen only once.

Quick Recap

26 people are still partying

11 people have a strike against them

15 people are flawless

Nobody is F’in Out

Welcome back to…THE PICK OF THE WEEK!

For those of you new pool boys out there this is the time in the update/rant where I give out an award for the best/ ballsiest pick of the week.  What do you get?  Absolutely…nothing, just a pat on the back.  This piece is out there with the sole purpose that I can con someone vain enough (Purcell anybody?) into making a bad decision (Purcell) to better my chances at making some cash (like when I have to call Roberta to pay Ryan’s entrance fee again, among other favors…).

This week’s pick belongs to…

Joe Church and his J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!  Nice pick Joe.  Not only did you have to sweat that game out, but you were the only team to pick them.  Congrats on wasting a playoff team in the first week on a tough match up.  Go grab yourself a High Life buddy, you’ve earned it.

Worst Pick of the Week…

For those new to the league this is the part where the person tried to get the pick of the week and failed miserably…So many options this week…the award goes to…DAN STONE!  Why does Dan get this award over the other 5 gentleman?  Because the Bungles are Dan’s favorite team and as Neil would tell Dan if he had known in time you DO NOT under any circumstances pick against your own team!  You will lose.  Not only that Stone, but say out loud to yourself “I picked the Cleveland Browns this week…”  It’s the Browns!  You sold your team and your soul for the Cleveland Browns.  It’s like 30 pieces of silver.

Honorable Mention:  The rest of you who chose the Browns.  It’s the Browns Damnit!  The Cleveland Browns!  You picked the Cleveland Browns.  God hates Cleveland and so should you!  You’ve got a better chance of Drew Millar wearing a Jimmy while on a one night stand than the Browns do winning a game week in and week out.

Secondary Honorable Mention:  Trent Striplin for making me listen to that dog crap of a Niner’s game on the radio.  Nothing like making a 4 hour ride go faster by listening, not watching, listening to 2 awful teams fling sh@! at each other for 4 quarters.  Sounds like Heinlein’s pool all over again.



Justin's new tattoo, another bad pick...

On to the standings…

Name	Pick	Standing	Position
Paul Andrews	Texans	Win
Marcus Arnold	Texans	Win
Phil Barry	Chargers	Win
Paul Barth	Titans	Loss	1 Strike
Justin Belding	Browns	Loss	1 Strike
Joe Church	Jets	Win
Ben Clark	Eagles	Win
Kevin Clark	Chargers	Win
Sam Finley	Cardinals	Win
Dan Fitzpatrick	Cardinals	Win
John Galmiche	Browns	Loss	1 Strike
Nick "Hollywood" Heinrichs	Titans	Loss	1 Strike
Neil Jubitz	Cardinals	Win
Pat Kelly	Eagles	Win
Nick Lamb	Cardinals	Win
Ryan McAndrew	Cardinals	Win
Drew Millar	Browns	Loss	1 Strike
Matt Nichols	Giants	Loss	1 Strike
Bobby Philbrook	Broncos	Loss	1 Strike
Ryan Purcell	Patriots	Win
Kyle Shultz	Browns	Loss	1 Strike
Dan Stone	Browns	Loss	1 Strike
Trent Striplin	Niners	Win
Erik Weiss	Titans	Loss	1 Strike
Paul Wilson	Browns	Loss	1 Strike
Michael Zahler	Texans	Win

It was a rough week for the Newbies this year.  Out of the 5 new comers 4 of 6 lost in the first week.  Congratulations to Phil and Ben for their first successful week.  Erik and Justin continued their trend of losing in the first week of the season yet again.  Last year Erik made it all the way to 3^rd place while Justin went out in 2 weeks.  Had we let him pick again he said he would have also gotten week 3 wrong.  Here is to you Justin!  Next week he looks to shatter his own record of a week 3 exit by going out in week 2.  If anyone with a strike loses next week they will set the record.  You don’t want to steal the Donk Trophy from Justin.  DON’T DO IT.  Let him ride it out for two years…

In other news…the streak is over!!!  Bobby Philbrook went down swinging with the Ponies.  The record stands at 15 picks in a row and now the champ is on the ropes!  Best part of this is that Bobby, has rules folks.  Rules he swears he lives by in this league (and in life which he doesn’t follow either).  I won’t tell you what they all are as they are trade secrets, but one of them is never to pick a division rivalry game.  I’ll let you assume what happened.

Some New Rules

Due to popular demand the picks now need to be in by 10pm on Saturday night.  The majority has spoken and they want to see the picks before the games even start.  There is no way I can possibly do this every Sunday morning when picks are rolling in at 9:50 so please from now on submit your picks to me by 10pm on Saturday night.  You can post them to the blog, email or text me.

The last place tie breaker.  Since we need a Donk every season if two players go out the exact same week we will have a playoff.  What this means is that those two players have to continue picking the next weeks until one of them holds the official title.  Hey, someone has to take home the bag of Bobby’s poop.

That’s it this week guys.  A few of you haven’t sent in any checks yet either.  I know I haven’t been home in two weeks, but I get back Sunday afternoon and will be checking.  You got 5 days to get it to my house or your F’in out and it’ll be $40 bones if you want to play next year.  I appreciate all of you who have already gotten it to me on time.

Thanks,

McPoolMaster

Week 13 and 14

Coming at you live from this beautiful basement Bobby calls home in San Francisco!  It’s the week 13 and 14 update!  Yes that is right; it is another combined update this time around, because for the 3^rd week in a row no one lost.  Much like Purcell’s life choices though, Week 14 would not disappoint.  So after much bitching….(Drew, Trent, Purcell) here are your updates.

In week 13, yet again no one in the main pot lost.  A very disappointing turn of events when the Seahawks and Eagles looked soooo close to futility.  However, both pulled it out in the end which leaves us with no losses, and not an impressive pick in the bunch.  However, this didn’t stop us from having another…

Worst Pick of the Week!

This week Drew Millar graces us with his presence here yet again.  What for you ask?  Well certainly not for making picks, the man’s been out for weeks.  He gets it for his Facebook post last week to Ben Clark.  While perusing the web during a small break in work meetings last week, I laughed out loud openly reading Drew’s wallpost.  Drew I haven’t seen anything this meatheaded since Arnold Schwarzenagger said getting a good pump on to him is like ejaculating.  I invite you all to go check out this thread online.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=2406793&and=pbclarkvegas

  The most meatheaded back in forth you’ll ever see.  I’m sure by reading this Purcell will do about 100 curls and calf raises each tomorrow (because he sure as hell doesn’t do anything else).  Drew I would like to throw out a suggestion to make sure you guys are covering all your bases.  Since supplements are clearly going to be involved.  Why stop at just 3?  Let’s make it six and add your guys drug and alcohol addictions and let’s add Extenze in there too and see which one of you can become the first penis with a man hanging from it…From now on let’s keep these things as secret  as Nick Lamb and Kim Cassinelli’s relationship.

And here is your main Pool Party Standings…

Name	Week 13	Result	Standing
Paul Andrews			F'in Out!	Already Out
Marcus Arnold			F'in Out!	Already Out
Justin Belding			F'in Out!	Already Out
Joe Church			F'in Out!	Already Out
Kevin Clarke			F'in Out!
Sam Finley			F'in Out!	Already Out
Dan Fitzpatrick			F'in Out!	Already Out
Sam Heinlein	Seahawks		1 Strike
Neil Jubitz			F'in Out!	Already Out
Pat Kelly	Eagles
Nick Lamb	Seahawks		1 Strike
Ryan McAndrew	Bears		1 Strike
Drew Millar			F'in Out!	Already Out
Matt Nichols			F'in Out!	Already Out
Bobby Philbrook	Vikings
Ryan Purcell			F'in Out!	Already Out
Kyle Shultz			F'in Out!	Already Out
Dan Stone			F'in Out!	Already Out
Trent Striplin	Vikings
Erik Weiss	Eagles		1 Strike
Michael Zahler			F'in Out!	Already Out

On to the Re-Up

Finally some real action!  One loss, but as Tom Grace use to say, “but one is all you need.”

Here’s the Rundown

8 people remain in the hunt

2 people are F’in Out

4 people are flawless

4 people have a strike against them

Pick of the Week

No one!  I’m not giving out picks of the week for the F’ing Seahawks!

Worst Pick of the Week

To the only man who kept things interesting.  Dan Fitzpatrick.  This week Dan and his Re-Up dreams went down in flames along with his favorite team’s playoff dreams.  This week his San Diego Chargers gone down and done him Dirty much like a Ryan Purcell/ Amanda Striplin lustfair.  Guns and Breast people, Guns and Breastes’….ok, mostly just breasts if Purcell is being honest with himself, but Dan could just not resist picking his favorite team against the RRRaiders much like Purcell can’t resist himself a set of cans.  So after Dan’s team laid down like Purcell does with BBW’s (ok I’m done) he is the second man out of the Re-Up.  Thanks for partying Dan, your season is officially up.

Here are the Standings!

Name	Week 13	Result
Paul Andrews	Bears		1 Strike
Marcus Arnold	Pack		1 Strike
Kevin Clarke	Pack
Dan Fitzpatrick	Chargers	Loss	F'in Out!
Pat Kelly	Eagles
Nick Lamb	Chiefs		1 Strike
Ryan McAndrew	Bears
Ryan Purcell			F'in Out
Trent Striplin	Vikings
Michael Zahler	Seahawks		1 Strike

WEEK 14

Ah…so refreshing.  People’s hopes and dreams being crushed in multitudes.  We haven’t had a week like this since week 7.  So lets get to it!

The Rundown

7 people came in alive

4 people left

3 people were knocked out

1 person gained a strike

2 people are still flawless

17 people are F’in Out

Pick of the Week

This week’s winner is Erik Weiss!  Erik went against the grain and picked the Bills with a strike already on his record this week.  After they squeaked one out against the Browns he still remains in the hunt.  Now judging by Erik’s pick and what week it is, I’m more sure Erik made this choice by not really having a choice.  So congratulations Erik, this was probably more a pick out of necessity than out of thinking but well go a week without writing your name with a C for your troubles.

Worst Pick of the Week

So many options to choose from…4 people with bad picks…The winner is….Sam Heinlein!!!  Sam picked the Broncos this week and went down in flames to yes, the Cardinals.  But if you look at the standings 2 people picked the Broncos and only one is getting the award…Hmm…curious things indeed.  Why would I do such a thing?  Well, after checking over everyone’s picks to make sure we had no irregularities, (ok I only got through 2 people) something odd came up.  Sam Heinlein has been knocked out of the league……..3 weeks ago.  Yes, Sam snuck it under our noses with his atrocious pick of the Niners in week 10.  They scored 0 points in a blowout loss and Sam just kept on picking.  So Sam, congratulations, you are the donk pick of the week.  At least you can say from here on out you were the only man who will every play in the PoolBoy league and have 3 losses.  Congratulations Sam.

Time to Say Goodbye

Two honorable men and 1 very dishonorable man is being discharged this week.  We say goodbye to Sam Heinlein, Nick Lamb, and yes, yours truly.  It was a fun run while it lasted.  Nick was done in by the Bronco’s as was Sam (sort of).  I was done in much like Dan Fitzpatrick was last week, by Amanda Striplin…I mean my Packers!  Sorry.  So the McPoolmaster is out.  However, we should really say goodbye to everyone, because now I have absolutely no vested interest in this league.  If you thought the post were coming slow before.  Welp, week 14 may have been your last hurrah.  Goodbye cruel NFL world.  The 3 of us will surely miss having a rooting interest in a really bad game.

The Standings…

Name	Week 14	Result	Standing
Paul Andrews			F'in Out!	Already Out
Marcus Arnold			F'in Out!	Already Out
Justin Belding			F'in Out!	Already Out
Joe Church			F'in Out!	Already Out
Kevin Clarke			F'in Out!
Sam Finley			F'in Out!	Already Out
Dan Fitzpatrick			F'in Out!	Already Out
Sam Heinlein	Broncos		F'in Out!	Out Twice
Neil Jubitz			F'in Out!	Already Out
Pat Kelly	Jets		1 Strike
Nick Lamb	Broncos		F'in Out!
Ryan McAndrew	Packers		F'in Out!
Drew Millar			F'in Out!	Already Out
Matt Nichols			F'in Out!	Already Out
Bobby Philbrook	Jaguars
Ryan Purcell			F'in Out!	Already Out
Kyle Shultz			F'in Out!	Already Out
Dan Stone			F'in Out!	Already Out
Trent Striplin	Cardinals
Erik Weiss	Bills		1 Strike
Michael Zahler			F'in Out!	Already Out

The Re-Up

Only 3 went down this week but 1 we will have lost until next year.

Here’s the Rundown

8 People entered

7 kept partying

2 gained their first strike

2 are still flawless

6 have a strike against them

3 people are F’in Out!

Pick of the Week

This week’s pick goes to Trent Striplin.  Trent went against the grain this week and picked the Derek Andersonless Cardinals.  You know, when you put it that way it actually sounds like a good idea.  So nice pick Trent.  You have officially placed yourself as a front runner in both parties in the hopes that I will actually pay you.

Worst Pick of the Week

Paul Andrews and I for picking the one trick pony in the Green Bay Packers.  We got a glimpse of futility this week in what the Packers are without Aaron Rodgers.  Their terrible.  If you put up 3 points against the Friggin’ Lions you should be put down.  Unfortunately only Paul and I were put down.

Goodbye

Paul, you were put down this week.  We look forward to seeing your investments next year.

Here are the Re-Up Standings

Name	Week 14	Result
Paul Andrews	Packers	Loss	F'in Out!
Marcus Arnold	Saints		1 Strike
Kevin Clarke	Falcons
Dan Fitzpatrick			F'in Out!
Pat Kelly	Jets	Loss	1 Strike
Nick Lamb	Steelers		1 Strike
Ryan McAndrew	Packers	Loss	1 Strike
Ryan Purcell			F'in Out
Trent Striplin	Cardinals
Michael Zahler	Falcons		1 Strike

There you have if Poolsters.  Week 13 and 14 are wrapped up.  In next week’s post (if we have one, again) you can find a couple new goodies for those who are still in the running.  Pictures to come.  Don’t forget to get your picks in this week.

Worsts,

The McPoolmaster

PS  For all those who have done so before.  We will be having our Annual Holiday Bowl this Sunday 12/19 at high noon.  This year we are being sponsored by Extenze.  The Extenze Holiday Bowl.